Bearable

This morning as I sit here with my coffee (two sweet-n-lows and pumpkin spice creamer), next to the fire as my sweet husband sleeps and my Jackson is in the next room watching "Max and Ruby Christmas," I am having an overwhelming feeling of something.

Gratefulness?

Thankfulness?

Nostalgia?

I'm not quite sure what it is.

All, I know is that there is one feeling totally missing from my normal feelings that I am aware of every day these days. There is still a sadness that is there. I have come to accept that this feeling will always be there. But for some reason this morning, the sadness seems a little more bearable.

I have heard this happens. That when you lose a child that the overwhelming sadness doesn't go away, but one day you wake up and the sadness becomes bearable.

Today just might be that day.

I have come to accept so many things over the last 7 months. So many awful things. But, I have also come to accept many great things as well. I am much more thankful than I used to be. Thankful for the good and thankful for the bad.

I was also thinking about my birthday which is coming up. I was born three days after Christmas. I have actually never thought of it as a hindrance, but a way to keep the party going after Christmas. And then when my birthday ends, I think about how New Years Eve is coming up and that is a way to keep the party going even longer. :)

But, I was thinking about my 30th year....how it was the hardest year of my life. I can see it in my face when I look in the mirror. I can feel it in my bones after a long run or a hard work out at bootcamp. But it also was a year where I grew in ways in my Faith that I never knew possible. I truly relied on God (and still do) to get up in the morning, push through and simply get by hard parts in the day.

As hard as this year has been, I still have hope for this next year and the years to come. And it all came to a head this morning when my sadness became bearable.

So, this morning I would like to thank God for my precious husband who loves me with every fiber of his being. He always has my back and I know sometimes that is hard to do! He is my rock and no one makes me laugh more than he does. My life is so much richer because of him and I am honored to be your wife and the mother of your children. Thank you for loving me for me. Thank you for accepting all of my crazy moments as just that. My crazy moments. Thank you for giving me the most amazing two little boys.

Thank you God for Jackson Stone. This little boy holds my heart in the palm of his hand and I am so in awe that he is my baby. Thank you for his sweet disposition and his empathy for others and for life. I get the biggest kick out of him every day and I know he was placed in my life for a reason. Even though he is just three years old he has taught me more about life and the life I want to continue to lead than any other person has. I love you to pieces!

And lastly, Lord, I thank you for Isaiah Stone. Thank you for the time that I had with him. Thank you for showing me what it means to truly give everything that you have to someone and still want to give more. Thank you for his smiles, his cries, and every breath that he took. You see, I feel like I am the lucky one that I got to know him as long as I did. In 11 months, (actually 9 months in the belly and 11 months outside), I learned just how strong you can be when faced with a challenge greater than yourself. I learned that my greatest life achievement is not the job you have, how much money you will make or where you live, etc. My greatest life achievement is and forever will be being a wife and a mommy.

I hope that everyone has a Happy Holiday season.

Much love to all!

LAS

Busy!

I have been a horrible blogger as of late. We've just been so dang busy! We have been to so many Holiday parties in the last two weeks that it makes me head spin thinking about them. Not complaining, cause I love a good party..but man, I am getting too old for staying out till all hours!

Here are some pics of what my baby love has been up to....

He's been to swim lessons, saw the Big Guy, went to the lake and hung out with his buddies, Jack and Bella, and he tatted himself up.

And lots and lots of other fun things, but I don't have time to tell you about all of them because I have to go get ready for yet another party. This one is at our house and it is for the wonderful Saxum team! I fell in the pool earlier while trying to clean it so that added a little extra to my plate for today. I am still cold.

LOVE!

LAS

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

My new favorite band...I am in LOVE with this song. Hope you guys like it too!

LAS

Fun times!

What craziness this past week has been! But what fun we have had! Here are some pics of some of the things we have been up to:

Jackson and his dad played a little Golden Tee....what form!

Jackson just "hanging out" at OU basketball practice with his cousins and his dad. He even got a lift from current OU player Cade Davis (who is now officially Jackson's favorite person this week.)











Mommy got in on the action playing a little one on one with my little man! He totally schooled me.

We went to visit Isaiah's Memorial and to give thanks for the time we had with him.

When asked what he was most thankful for this Thanksgiving, Jackson always replied, "For Isaiah." Totally unpromped. Total tearjerker. Everytime. Love my sweet boy!

We also went to Unpluggits to Cali-Kae's 4th birthday party. Jackson LOVES to paint!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Clinton, OK with my grandparents and extended family. It was so good to all be together this year and to truely feel in our hearts how thankful we really are for eachother.

After we left Clinton, we headed to the lake for a fabulously wonderfuly relaxing weekend. Renzi, Jackson and I had such a good time taking walks, watching movies, fishing, eating and even laying in the hammock and reading. We are headed there again this weekend for our lake family Thanksgiving with the Nighs', Regans' and Stems.' I can't wait to get all of the munchkins together again!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and an even better week ahead!

LAS

Spirit of Gratitude

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16

Sometimes life does not go the way you had planned. Things happen, people change, people pass on.

I do not believe that God wants bad things to happen to us. I think it is how we handle these bad things that truly help mold who we are and who God wants us to be.

Each day when we wake up we have a choice about our attitude for that day. You can choose to live in a spirit of Thanksgiving in every season of life. You can give thanks for what you have received, but also for what you have NOT received. You can choose to live in a spirit of gratitude.

Living in a spirit of gratitude comes when:
(1) You recognize what you have already received.
-Are you in good health? Do you have a warm house and food on the table? Do you have friends and/or family that give you love?

(2) You bless another, in good times and in bad.
-Helping another will warm your heart in ways you never knew possible. When you are down in spirit, help another. It will surely help to show you that you have much to be thankful for.

(3) You give up anger about life and the way things are, or anger at another.
-To truly let go of ill will or anger about something or someone will give your heart and spirit the peace you are looking for in life. Forgiveness.

This is what our sermon was about at St. Luke's yesterday and it really spoke volumes to me. This Thanksgiving, ask yourself, "What do you need to lay down your strength for the journey?" "How can YOU live in a spirit of gratitude?"

LAS

Six Months

How has it been six months already? In some ways, I feel like it was just yesterday and in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago.

So much has changed in our lives, but one thing remains constant. God is good. All the time. And his understanding, no one can fathom.

While dilly dallying around on the computer last night I came across this.

The Old Testament prophetic book of Isaiah, with its 66 chapters, is a microcosm of the whole Bible with its 66 books. There is a definite, direct, one-to-one correspondence between each chapter of Isaiah and each book of the Bible. This is an amazing, if indirect, proof, of the sovereignty of God and the superintendence of His Spirit over the whole of Scripture.

Renzi and I struggled with finding a name for Isaiah. We couldn't agree on anything and nothing sound "right." When taking on the task of "Reading the Bible in 90 Days," we came upon the book of Isaiah and felt this overwhelming urge that THIS was the name of our son. How amazing that the verses that have helped us through this difficult time have been from the book of ISAIAH!

How amazing that I found this website last night on the eve of the six month anniversary since Isaiah passed away.

http://www.bibleprophecy.net/isaiah/

I think God knew I may have a little bit of trouble today so that is why he put this website in my path last night. I have read through it many times today and am reminded again that our God has sovereign plans for each of us. It is so hard, but I believe Isaiah's death has to be a blessing for the quality of his life had become unbearable for him. My firm belief is that he is now at peace and we can rejoice in the fact that there is a Heaven and he is now in it.

If you have a moment, I encourage you to go to this website and then read the book of Isaiah. My hope is that you find it as inspiring as I do.

At each of our meals we say a short little prayer and at the end Jackson always chimes in with, "And God Bless Zayah." So, today, I say Thank you Lord for blessing me with both of my babies and in the words of my Jackson, "God Bless Zayah!!!"

We miss you every day.

Lee Anne

Jack-son channeling Daniel-son

As a child of the 80's, it was my duty and responsibility to introduce Jackson to The Karate Kid. Enjoy the best one minute, twenty-five seconds of your week.

Just when I think he can't get any cuter....

Beth Jansen takes THIS picture.

http://www.bethjansenphotography.com/blog/tgif-photo-of-the-day-oklahoma-city-childrens-photography/

And I am blown away by his never ending cuteness!

Red Dirt Chronicles

We were "mentioned"today in a wonderful blog called The Red Dirt Chronicles. Here is a little bit about the blog....

The Red Dirt Chronicles (RDC) was born summer, 2010. If you’re saying to yourself, “Hey – that’s, um, recently?!” then your reaction is a positive sign you are of sound mind. Well, it’s at least one sign, anyway. The project is comprised of contributors who love Oklahoma and have a little Red Dirt running through their veins.

Our mission is simple – we wish to capture and document Red Dirt culture, both literally and metaphorically. Connections to the state of Oklahoma are a mandatory requirement for our contributors; having lived here, or currently being a resident is a necessity.

http://reddirtchronicles.com/2010/11/11/chicken-soup-for-the-blogaholic’s-soul/

So humbled that Kendy Cox (one of the contributors to this blog) takes the time to read the blog and encourage us! If you get a chance, click on over to www.reddirtchronicles.com Kendy is a FANTASTIC writer and her blogs are wonderfully well written and about the happenings in her life and our great state!

Thanks for reading!

Lee Anne

Under House Arrest

Well, we survived the sickness here at the Stone house and all seems to be back to normal. It was a little tricky as Jackson started to feel better (but wasn't quite back to his normal, fever free self) and he wanted to get out and do things. Instead, I found many different ways to keep him occupied at home!

Last week I took advantage of the after Halloween sales at Target and purchased four different costumes for Jackson to have around our house to dress up. Here are two pics of him as Iron Man and a policeman. Each costume was $3.99 and provided lots of hours of pretend play fun. Except when Jackson kept trying to "arrest" me over and over again.

Something else I wanted to share is our new favorite meal at our house. We actually got the idea over at our friends The Peters' house a few weeks back and decided to give it a try at our house. Its a great way for Jackson to get involved in cooking and make it a healthy meal at that! The meal is....Grilled Pizza!!!

Here is what you do.

Buy whole wheat pizza dough, you can get it at Target in the cold section near the eggs and other bisquits. Spread the dough out on a cookie sheet and place in your outside grill for five minutes. Bring the dough back inside. This is where you kiddo can start to help!

In a bowl, mix EVOO with spices. I used salt, pepper, garlic and oregano. Stir it up and get a baster out and use it to spread the EVOO mixture all over the pizza dough. I let Jackson do this because it was like he was painting the pizza. Then in a couple of other bowls put your favorite pizza toppings in them. I let Jackson pick what he wanted on his pizza. He chose cheese, banana peppers and turkey pepperoni. (We used low fat cheese too!). He spread it out all over his pizza in any way that he wanted to.

Then I took the pizzas back out to the grill and let them cook for 6 or 7 more minutes. And VOILA! Grilled Pizza!

I posted some pics of the process of making the pizza so you can see how it looked and how proud Jackson was to be able to help mommy cook.

Happy Sunday!

Lee Anne

Saddest Face Ever.

Is this not the saddest face that you ever did see? Jackson woke up in the wee hours of Wednesday morning with a terribly high fever and we just couldn't seem to get it to break. It was a steady 104.5 (and this was using my forehead thermometer!). All he wanted to do was lay in my lap and have me carry him everywhere (including carrying him to the potty!). I made an appointment with our pediatrician Wed. morning and we did a strep test and flu test which all came back negative. He then sent us over to Mercy to get an X-Ray of Jackson's chest because he didn't like the way his lungs sounded and he was concerned with the possibility that Jackson might have pneumonia!

After traipsing all over Mercy Hospital carrying a 35 pound, burning up 3 year old, we got word that it was not pneumonia but just a nasty virus. He has had a fever on and off now for 36 hours, but thankfully the fever is just 101 degrees and not 104! As sad as it is having him be so sick, I am cherishing all of the snuggle time we are getting together. I don't think Jackson has sat in my lap this much since he was 6 months old.

Oh and I can't get him to stop eating pickles. Seriously. The kid has eaten like 7 pickles today and about 10 yesterday. Pickles are vegetables right?

Baby Momma

To Infiniti and Beyond!

What a fun and blessed week we had at our house this week. Halloween is such a fun time and we took full advantage this week to wear ourselves out. :) Jackson and I went on a date to the first Thunder game Wednesday night and had a ball. Jackson knows all of the players and calls them by name when they shoot or steal the ball. He also likes to yell out, "Mom! It's my song!" when different songs come on during the game. The funniest one was when it was "Sir Mix Alot, I Like Big Butts." Nothing like a 3 year old yelling at the top of his lungs when that song comes on , "Hey mom! It's my song!"

On Thursday, Jackson got to wear his Halloween costume to school (He was Buzz Lightyear) and he was so pumped! He came home telling me all about the boys costumes in his class. He knew what each of his buddies costumes were but when I asked him what the girls were he replied, "Hmm, I don't know Mom. They are girls!"

That night we went to Cal Furnish's birthday party and Jackson (and mom and dad!) had a ball. Jackson ran straight into their glass door as we were walking in which resulted in numerous bloody noses for the rest of the evening. Have no fear because he just wiped it on his Buzz costume. When we went home I decided to wash his costume and as I was reading the wash instructions, this is what it said, "Do not machine wash. Do not dry clean. Hand wash only. Do not machine dry. Do not line dry." WHAT????

Saturday we headed over to the Heskett's for CJ Heskett's first birthday party. It was a costume party that everyone was required to dress up for. This is actually the first time Renzi and I had ever dressed up together and I think we make a pretty cute Jessie and Woody. Thanks for being such a good sport honey. Even when I made you wear the Woody bodysuit you never complained. Ha!!!!

All in all, so much fun was had by all of us and we can't wait for next year's Halloween. :)

Sincerley in a Sugar Coma,

Lee Anne

The God Box

I read this great article in November's Real Simple Magazine that really got me thinking....it was about a mom who started a "God Box." Apparently, this mom was one of those people who people just wanted to talk to about their problems, joys or concerns. She was so openly sympathetic that just about everyone instantly confided in her. And she, in turn, cared so deeply about others, even complete strangers, and she would take all of their joys and problems to heart and mull over them for days.

That's when her friend suggested she put her list of cares into a box. And just like that, the God Box was born.

From then on, when someone shared a concern with this woman, she would say optimistcally, "I'll put in the God Box." The simple act of writing down the wish and relinquishing control to a higher power was her way to help others, and relieve her own mind.

I found this article very interesting in that these days I feel like I am trying to pray for others as I see them or think about them, but the prayer never really feels "finished, " for some reason. I am going to make my own God Box and actually write down on a scrap of paper when I think of someone I want to pray for or a specific prayer for someone. Then, I can go back through the box at a later date and think back on the prayers and check back on anyone I may have forgotten in the hustle and bustle of life.

God is so good and is constantly challenging me to find ways to get closer to him. I think the God Box will be another way for me to do just that.

Cheers!

Lee Anne

We made it back!

We made it back! Here are some pics from our time away....

Yes. That's a funnel cake tree.

Yes. I have more make up on than is probably allowed. I was too tired from our previous night and didn't want to do my hair or makeup myself. So I did what all of you would do. I went to the salon at our hotel and had them do it. This resulted in fake eyelashes and lots of eye make up. That night, I forgot I had them on so I woke up and thought there were spider webs in my eyes. True story.

Yes. My husband is hot.

Vegas!

We leave tomorrow for a Mommy-Daddy trip to Vegas with these guys (see above). The bottom pic is of Casi and I the last time we went to Vegas. The pic above that is of Renzi and I the last time we were in Vegas (same trip). Ironically, these are the only two pics we took the ENTIRE time we were there. The top pic is of JW and Renzi on their 30th birthday. Can you believe that is the ONLY pic of them I could find on my computer??? Oh and my hair is sooo short in these pics...I am currently on a mission to see just how long I can get my hair. It's pretty long right now and I am loving it. I am NOT loving the grey hairs I have found since my hair is longer, but don't worry, I have taken care of that with some highlights (shout out to Kristin Pfenninger!). OMG. This post has now become a ramble. I think I need a vacation STAT.

I told Renzi I had three goals for this trip. (1) Eat good food. (2) Drink good wine. (3) Have fun. I think we can safely say we WILL accomplish these goals before Sunday when we return home.

I will miss my baby love TERRIBLY while we are gone, but know how important it is that Renzi and I spend time together sans kiddos. Very refreshing and great for your marriage.

So....until we return from LV....

Cheers!

LAS

Baby Momma

Oh Jackson Stone. You make me laugh out loud all day long. How absolutely blessed I am to be your "baby momma." (By the way, who taught him to say this?? Seriously? And in the right context??????)

Here are some pics of my baby love and me at the pumpkin patch in SW Missouri. We went to the lake this weekend and headed to this pumpkin patch right at the Missouri border 8 miles from Grove, OK. We actually went last year and Renzi and I remember this being one of our best days with Jackson and Isaiah, so we were eager to get back and create another good memory from this most spectacular pumpkin patch. We all had a blast and enjoyed spending time together.

Other notes from the weekend? Oh when Jackson shouted out at the top of his lungs, "Momma, you CRAZY!!!!" You can guarantee that "baby daddy" got a BIG kick out of that one!

Oh and check out the other pic of my love playing his guitar. Ladies, look out I've got a rock star on my hands!

Cheers!

Lee Anne

Post from Renzi

The alarm goes off most mornings at 5:24 a.m. The rest I had yearned for over the past year returned rather easily, as if nothing happened. I usually wake up a few minutes before my alarm, my body rested and my mind racing. I 'm ready for another challenging week. Today, it was 4:50 a.m. I could have arisen, but I just laid there in the silence. This is when I do my best praying, as I passively listen to the gentle sounds of Lee Anne's breathing. Actually, this morning there were the faint sounds of two as Jackson had snuck into our bed in the middle of the night. His little toes fit perfectly into the small of my back where he occasionally kicks me as he adjusts his position. I don't really mind it.

It is another Monday morning. Exactly twenty-one weeks since Isaiah died. It still hurts like you know what. Since our crazy roller coaster ended in May, we have gotten back into somewhat of a routine. Knowing what to expect is one of the things that we humans need. Lee Anne and I never knew what each day brought with Isaiah, but here we are twenty-one weeks later and I could tell you my entire day, week and remainder of month. Seriously, I know where I'll be each day and weekend until Thanksgiving. Routine. People need one. Routine gives us comfort.

Part of my morning routine is to make a caauccino from our Jura Capresso F9 coffee maker. It is a positive, daily reminder of Isaiah-the nearly four figure coffee maker that we bought so we "could have a great cup of coffee if we were going to be up all night." It is worth it. I took my first sip of the freshly ground espresso with hot steamed milk and one sweet-and-low and headed back to my home office.

Maybe I'll read Lee Anne's blog this morning, I thought. Isaiah was always on my mind on Monday mornings. As I pulled open the browser, I got a good laugh out of her "Organized Sports" post about Jackson's first soccer game. I scrolled down the page to previous posts. I knew a recent post was about Isaiah, but I had not had the stomach to read it. Until now. The "Missing Him" post had elicited quite a response from readers. It made me cry-nothing like crying before 6:00 a.m.- and inspired me to write this post. I finished my now warm-coffee and started typing.

Most of you know this by now, but Lee Anne is a special gal. She is incredibly strong, but we both still have our moments of pain, like yesterday on the way back from the lake when we got into a heated discussion about whether Isaiah's condition was "extremely complicated." No doctor had ever used that word and she wanted to know "why," especially since it ended they way it did. Our docs did a great job and were all positive with us the entire time, even when we asked for "worst case" scenarios. I told her that I did not think "why" was a good question for us anymore. "Why" is elusive-and unfair- and unanswerable. "Why" sucks.

My head began to clear as the caffeine did its job. I though about Isaiah's life, our life, Jackson and whether we would have other children. I thought about grace. I thought about our priorities. I thought about the progress we have made since May. I thought about the pain and then I focused on the positives. The empty-feeling heartaches are never far away from me, but I'm putting distance between them every day.

The key is to pull the good moments even closer. I need another cappuccino.

Renzi

Isaiah Lee Stone Scholarship Award

I have the greatest job in the world. Seriously. I do.

For those of you who don't know, I am the Youth Coordinator for Leadership Oklahoma. Leadership Oklahoma began in 1986 and was created to build a statewide leadership development program designed to identify, teach and challenge the leaders of our state. Youth Leadership Oklahoma (YLOK) was created in 2001 and is a program provided, free of charge to upcoming high school seniors, designed to develop in our state's young leaders a hope, pride and responsibility for Oklahoma's future.

Each year, 50 high school juniors are selected from across the state to make up YLOK and to be a part of this one of a kind leadership opportunity. The students take a week long journey in June to learn more about Oklahoma's resources and its people. By learning about Oklahoma's history, culture, issues and leaders, hopefully YLOK participants begin to develop a greater understanding and an immense appreciation of our great state.

In 2007, I was given the opportunity to join the Leadership Oklahoma team and was the interim YLOK Coordinator. I was pregnant with Jackson at the time and worked full time getting up to speed on the job and planning the program. I was six months pregnant and hopped on a bus with 50 high school upcoming seniors and we traveled around the state for a week.

I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I had babies, but I didn't realize just how much it means to truely love your job...and want to be a stay at home mom too. Enter...the solution....I was so fortunate that LOK took me up on the idea of having me be a "contract" worker and still run YLOK, but do it on a limited amount of in the office hours with office hours at my house as well. I am happy to report that I will be traveling with my 5th YLOK class this summer. What a joy it is to have a job you are passionate about but also be able to stay at home and watch my babies grow as well. I do realize I am one of the lucky ones and I truely feel blessed by my situation daily.

With that said....in 2009 I traveled the state with YLOK Class IX while I was 39 weeks pregnant with Isaiah. So, now, both of my kiddos are a huge part of my job as well. When Isaiah died, it was natural for Renzi and I to ask that all donations be made to Youth Leadership Oklahoma so that this wonderful organziation could be blessed as much as it has blessed us.

After many long talks, Renzi and I decided that with this money that was donated to YLOK and with LOK we wanted to start the ISAIAH LEE STONE SCHOLARSHIP. We presented our criteria to this year's class. Here it is in detail:

The Isaiah Lee Stone Youth Leadership Oklahoma Scholarship Award

Who was Isaiah Lee Stone?
Isaiah Lee Stone was the infant son of YLOK Coordinator, Lee Anne Stone and Class XVIII's C. Renzi Stone. Lee Anne traveled around the state with Class IX in the summer of 2009 at 39 weeks pregnant with Isaiah. The program concluded on a Friday and Lee Anne gave birth to Isaiah the following Monday morning-June 15, 2009. Isaiah was diagnosed with epilepsy later that year and after exhaustive medical treatments, passed away on May 17, 2010-just short of his first birthday. Isaiah taught the Stones and anyone else who came into contact with him how to smile, laugh and live every day to the fullest.

Who is worthy of being the Isaiah Lee Stone Youth Leadership Oklahoma Scholarship recipient?

The class is encouraged to nominate individuals who best exemplfiy the type of leader Oklahoma needs for its future. This is not intended to be the person who wants to run for political office or the most popular among you. The Isaiah Lee Stone YLOK Scholar is someone who has made a lasting impression on each classmate. They are someone who asks thoughtful questions of speakers, who invests time in getting to know everyone and who professes a love for the state of Oklahoma. Classmates know for certain that this person is going to do great things in thier future. Nominees know with clear intentions today that they will make their home in the great state of Oklahoma after college.

Each YLOK class will select the recipient of the Isaiah Lee Stone Youth Leadership Oklahoma Scholarship with the honoree being announced at YLOK Graduation. Scholarship money, $1,500, will be distributed August 1st teh follwing year prior to college via check to each recipient.

--------------------
This year YLOK Class X nominated Thomas Owens from Edmond Memorial High School for the first Isaiah Lee Stone Scholarship Award winner. I had the chance to get to know Thomas a little better at a Youth Council meeting I held a few weeks back and let me tell you. This kid is amazing! I know he will do amazing things for our state and will be a leader in whatever he chooses to do in his future.

I just wanted to share with you all about this award and to let those of you who don't know what I am talking about when I say, "I was at work, " or , "my job," etc.
I am so happy to be able to have such a great work-home balance and feel like working on a contract basis helps make me a better mom and wife. I get to still be "Lee Anne" and I get to still be "Mom" too.

I hope that all of can and have found what you are passionate about and can make that work for your life as well!
Best,
Lee Anne

P.S. I also just opened up the application process for YLOK Class XI. If you know of a current junior in high school in Oklahoma encourage them to apply! You can download an application at www.leadershipoklahoma.com Deadline is Dec. 1 at 5 p.m.!

Organized Sports

For those of you who don't know, Jackson is freakishly good at sports. He can connect with a baseball thrown to him 99 percent of the time, he can shoot a basketball from any place, he can pitch both left and right handed to an exact spot and can hit a golf ball farther than his dad. We have never pushed him to play any sports, it must just be in his blood because the kiddo just LOVES to play any sport.

So...when Jackson was asked to be on a soccer team with some of his buddies from his class at Westminster we said yes knowing how much fun he would have. His first game was two Saturdays ago and I was so excited. I made the comment to Renzi that "this was what I had been waiting for since the moment I found out I was having a boy. Organized sports."

Jackson did great and I don't think we parents have laughed that hard in a long time. Here are two videos from that morning. One is of Jackson "warming up." Please note his arms in the air when he tries to kick the ball. HILARIOUS.

The second video is of "Uncle Tim" interviewing J at half time about his teams' performance. CLASSIC.

Enjoy!

LAS

Missing him.

I was at work today and I turned on my computer and somehow I found myself looking at this picture. It made me smile and it made me sad all at the same time. While I was sitting at work...and then I got teary eyed and I remembered my last post about the book, "If you have to cry go outside." And then I started to laugh. Strange emotions to have all at once I tell ya.

So, I thought in this post I would let you all know how I am doing after four months since Isaiah passed away. I feel like I need to write about it today, so that's exactly what I am going to do. I hope this helps any of you who see me out and about and are scared to ask me how we are doing, or wondering if you should bring "it" up or not.

After four months it still hurts like h-e-double hockey sticks. Sometimes it feels like fresh hurt and sometimes it doesn't hurt as bad as it did the day before.

At first I wondered if I would ever really be happy again or ever really laugh again. And then, one day you find yourself really really laughing, a real laugh, where your face hurts and you think about how long its been since you laughed like that and vow to do it more. Then you thank God for that moment.

Someone will ask you how you are doing and you say you are doing OK, and you really feel like you are doing ok, then as soon as you are alone you burst into tears. And after a good cry, you actually feel a little better and wonder why you held it in for so long. I am so grateful when someone asks me about him. I love talking about BOTH of my boys. It feels good to talk about both of them. And if I cry when I talk to you, I cry. And if I don't, I don't.

There are Sundays when I don't want to go to church. Since Isaiah's memorial is at our church it has scared me to go back there and I don't want to open up a wound when I don't have to. Then, there are Sundays that won't come fast enough. I have been to church the last two weeks and am overwhelmed with how comforting it is to just be there. It's like he's there with us wrapping his arms around us and I feel his love.

I have some nights when I can't fall asleep because I am thinking about him and some mornings when it takes all of my strength to push forward. But I do. And in the mornings, during the half-second between asleep and fully awake, I feel the dreaded feeling that something is wrong and it then it hits me all over again: he's gone.

But..through it all, I am grateful that God picked me to be his mommy. I hold his picture sometimes and kiss it, remembering his soft skin. I will find a shirt or a blanket of his and try as hard as I can to smell him and then cry because I can't. I sometimes play his videos on the computer and ache to hold him one more time. And then I wonder if I am crazy, and then feel better because other moms tell me they have done the same thing.

I am so humbled by the prayers offered up to our family from people I have never met and grateful for family and friends who have loved us through this. I pass people, in the grocery store, at the soccer field, at the gas station, and I wonder what sadness they are carrying around that no one knows about. I pray now for people as my day goes on. If someone pops in my mind, I pray for them. You never know who needs a prayer at any given time.

There are days when I am full of questions. What if this, or what if that, or how come this and how come that. But then I remember that God's soverign plans are perfect and Isaiah's days were appointed before he was even one day old.

Most of all, I am grateful for Isaiah. Grateful for his short life. I know that if given the choice between not knowing him and not knowing grief or knowing him and experiencing a grief like you have never known before...I would pick him. Over and over I would pick him.

My New Obsession.

As I have posted in previous blogs, I am a HUGE reader. Love it. Love to read. Love the thought of reading. Love the coziness of reading. Love it. I read every night before bed and I actually used to make people who spent the night at my house read "Babysitters Club" books before they went to bed whether they wanted to or not.

This book is my new obsession.

"IF YOU HAVE TO CRY, GO OUTSIDE. And other things your mother never told you."

By Kelly Cutrone.

To be honest, I think I have a slight obession with Kelly Cutrone in general. Ever since she stepped onto the "sound stage" of the Hills on MTV I have liked her. Maybe its her uncanny knack to speak EXACTLY what is on her mind at any given time. (I actually think I am a little jealous of this trait. How I long to say EXACTLY what is on my mind.) Maybe its her take no prisonors attitude. Maybe its her hard as nails work ethic. Love her or hate her, you have to respect what she has made of herself and her company.

I can not even tell you the last time I actually felt the need to UNDERLINE text in a book (besides my bible, of course!).

Here are a few of the quotes I have underlined from her book. (and I am only half way through!)

"Sometimes, if not most of the time, you find out who you are by figuring out who and what you are not."

"I hope that you too will choose to have a journey instead of just a life."

"There are people we are related to physically, and then there are people we're related to spiritually, emotionally and socially."

"When you are the most happening person at the party, it's time to leave."

"Sometimes the best way to fake it is to shut up."

"If you don't let what you don't know stop you from doing your best in every situation, you will surprise yourself over and over in life."

"You can't fake hard work."

"Sometimes in life seasons don't come in order; instead of fall, winter, spring, summer, we get three winters in a row. But that doesn't mean spring won't come eventually."

"True friends love us no matter what and are willing to call us out on our BS."

So...I just thought I would share these quotes from a great book. Oh and I also just posted a picture of the cutest boy in the world today while at lunch at Pops at Lake Arcadia on Route 66. I love his smile!

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Love!

Lee Anne

The things we do for friends....

I have always considered it a plus to know Amanda Morgan Clark. Not only is she one of my bestest friends since college...but...a few years ago she opened up a Boutique in Norman on Campus Corner called, "Blush." Now, I have a place to buy all of my clothes at great prices AND get to hang out with Amanda while I shop. BONUS!

Both of my boys have literally grown up at Blush. When Jackson was only 2 weeks old, Blush was one of his and my first ventures out into the "World." I put him on a blanket and he was just as happy as could be while his mommy shopped.

Isaiah also got to experience Blush at a young age. He wasn't as quiet as Jackson was at that age, but at the time Amanda had just given birth to Chloe so Isaiah and Chloe would hang out at Blush together while Jackson ran around the store like a wild man.

Amanda is a great friend. Always has been. Always will be. So, when she called me Wednesday and asked me for a favor I was quick to say, SURE! ANYTHING!

Little did I know what she was going to be asking of me.....

Here is a link to what she had me do......

http://www.news9.com/Global/category.asp?C=116601&autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=5100406&flvUri=&partnerclipid=

We had a great time and I didn't fall on my face! :)

After the show was over Amanda, Angela and I headed over to Bin 73 for a little girls happy hour and catch up time. So good for the heart to be with good girl friends!

The moral of this story is...head on over to Blush in Norman TODAY for amazingly cute things. You can also visit her website at www.blushnorman.com

Happy Shopping!

Lee Anne

We did it!!!!!

Well, we did it! Ginny, Jackie and I finished the half marathon and I couldn't more proud of us. Here is my official time from the Rock N Roll Half Marathon Virginia Beach Half Marathon:

02:41:19

22571

Lee Anne Stone

Oklahoma City, OK

Age: 30 | Gender: F

Overall: 10822 out of 14767 · Division: 1026 out of 1451 · Gender: 5462 out of 8380

Here are my thoughts from the race: I ran the entire way. I did not walk once! Mile 9 was the hardest. I was really proud of my cardio training because I didn't get out of breath at all during the race, but about Mile 9 my body started to get tight and my legs started to burn. Mile 11 I got a burst of energy and ran faster and actually recorded my fastest mile...10 minutes. The last mile seemed like it took forever and the last .1 was seriously brutal. All in all, it was a fabulously wonderful experience and I am soo glad we did. Go TEAM ISAIAH!

The coolest part of the race was this....As I rounded out of Camp Pendleton at mile 6, my IPOD died. I am a genius and did not charge it the night before. I was thinking to myself, "How in the world am I going to do this without music???" All of a sudden, a woman shouts out, "Team Isaiah! Lee Anne Stone!" I look over and she and three of her girlfriends all shouted out, "We LOVE your blog! Go Team Isaiah!" Talk about a grace moment!!! That fueled me through the rest of the race and I just reflected on my precious baby and our time together on this Earth. So...to you Virginia Beach ladies who cheered me on...THANK YOU. I needed you all at that very moment and am so humbled that you take the time to read my blog. What blessings you were!!!!

There are a lot of pictures from the race but this one is my favorite! My loves cheering me on at Mile 11. Love you both Renzi and Jackson for supporting me before, during and after the race. You all keep me going!

Much love!

Lee Anne

Just trying to run....

A girl's just trying to run her first half marathon....I had strep throat towards the end of last week and now a hurricane! Seriously??!!!???

Earl to be off Delmarva coast Friday morning

September 2, 2010 - 8:16am

Seven year-old Garrison Williams, left, enjoys the large surf with his dad Gary Williams, of Purcellville, Va., as Hurricane Earl heads towards the eastern coast on Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010 in Virginia Beach, Va. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

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WASHINGTON - Hurricane Earl may be packing a punch in the Atlantic Ocean, but how will the Category 4 storm affect the D.C. area and the Delmarva beaches this Labor Day weekend?

"For most of our listening area, everybody west of Chesapeake Bay, the weather is going to be fine," ABC 7 Chief Meteorologist Doug Hill says.

Temperatures will be near 90 degrees on Friday and in the low 80s throughout the Labor Day weekend. Get the latest forecasts throughout the weekend at theWTOP Weather Center.

The biggest concern is at the beach.

A hurricane watch and tropical storm warning are in effect for Virginia Beach and the Maryland and Delaware beaches.

"We've been monitoring this storm very closely," Ocean City Mayor Rick Meehan told WTOP Thursday morning.

"Everybody should be responsible and use good common sense. Let's wait until this event passes through," Meehan says.

Meehan isn't discouraging people from coming to the resort, but he recommends not heading out until late Friday afternoon.

Earl, now a Category 4 hurricane, is expected to be 150 to 200 miles off the coast of Ocean City Friday morning and mid-day. Meehan says with the storm out that far the winds will be in the tropical force range of 40 mph to 50 mph.

When Earl reaches the Delmarva beaches, Hill says people should expect waves between 6 and 10 feet in height, beach erosion, dangerous rip tides, hurricane force wind gust and very heavy rain squalls.

"The beaches of Maryland, Delaware and Virginia will be gorgeous Saturday, Sunday and Monday," Hill said Thursday morning.

"The concern is for late tonight and through mid-afternoon tomorrow when Earl will remain offshore, making its closest approach, probably bringing rain squalls and tropical storm force winds to the ocean beaches and treacherous and dangerous surf conditions."

The last time a hurricane did serious damage to Ocean City was in 1986 when Hurricane Gloria struck. That was before Ocean City had a sea wall.

"Our dunes are in good shape. Our beach is good shape," Meehan says.

"The closest effects I think we're going to see are on the Chesapeake Bay and tidal rivers, where the increasing winds may cause higher than normal tides, which is why a coastal flood warning is in effect," Hill says.

Earl is expected to bypass the Virginia coast early Friday morning, but forecasters warned any deviation of the storm's track to the west could change their prediction. Forecasters say people in the Virginia Beach area will likely see high winds and seas late Thursday.

A a state of emergency has been declared in Virginia and in Maryland.

Some Amtrak trains have already been canceled ahead of the storm.

Forecasters also have their hands full with two new storms that are forming.

On Wednesday, the seventh tropical storm of the season formed far out in the Atlantic. Tropical Storm Gaston had sustained winds of 40 mph and is expected to strengthen into a hurricane this weekend as it moves toward the Leeward Islands.

Tropical Storm Fiona remained north of the Caribbean with winds of 60 mph and is expected to move toward Bermuda over the next several days

We leave this morning for Annapolis and will keep watch on the weather throughout the weekend. Stay tuned to find out if they Rock N Roll Half Marathon in Virginia Beach is cancelled....and if its not....then stay tuned for our times!

Until next time....Muah!

Mommy Blogger

My husband is a phenomenal writer. Like crazy good. He has written 2 books (more to come on that in the next few months!). He maintains a blog over at his business website Saxum PR (www.saxumpr.com) . This week he blogged about me and MY blog (and some of yours too!). Pretty interesting stuff! Click on over and read it if you get a chance!



http://saxumpr.com/index.php/tips-and-tricks/living-with-a-mommy-blogger/

Happy 3rd Birthday Party Jackson!

Happy 3rd birthday party to my little guy, Jackson James Stone. We had Spaghetti Eddie over to our house for the big PARTAY and he played all of his latest hits for the kiddos. THEY LOVED him. If you don't know who he is, find out! Best childrens singer EVER! We served spaghetti (of course!) and had the best time. Thank you to everyone for coming and rockin' out for Jackson's 3rd Birthday Party!