Saturday, July 11, 2009

Overheard at the Stone Home - 3:00 a.m.

This is our first co-blog. I was brought in as a result of co-workers asking for more details about my tired appearance at work.

So, we have a grumpy baby that does not sleep. Ideally, we would be writing this in the middle of the night while he is crying, but we just thought up this idea and it is still the afternoon. We should be banking sleep, but we can't fall asleep and it is the weekend which makes us want to enjoy the awake time. Below is the top ten things overheard between midnight and 5 a.m. at our place:

10. "What is wrong with this kid? That's it, we're hiring the night nurse deal. I don't care what anyone says or how expensive it is. Get me the phone book...Shut up, I'm on the phone."

9. "Is it possible to OD on kids tylonol? Errr, not that we've given him too much. If we had, maybe he'd be quiet." If anyone is aware of the MJ toxic levels, please pass along.

8. "How come Mr. Grumpy (Isaiah's alter ego) is so damn quiet during the day?" I'm looking for answers here. No laughing. Stop. No, really. Do you know why?

7. "Meet you at the diaper genie in five."

6. It is never a good thing when you are competing against your spouse for who got the least amount of sleep.

LAS: "I got three hours".

CRS: "No, I got two hours and forty five minutes."

LAS: "No! You are a stinky-faced liar. I looked over at you and your eyes were closed."

CRS: "I was faking it so I didn't have to get up...again!"

Also, the person who goes to make money isn't necessarily the one who is working the hardest (last minute request from LAS)

5. "What the crap?!? Is it weird that he hasn't pooped in five days and he Chuck Liddell abs of steel?"

4. "Has he burped? Has he burped? Don't put him down if he hasn't burped!!!"

3. (said to a friend during the day) - We are currently experiencing three kind of nights. 1) OK nights, which are really pretty crappy with three feedings. 2) Bad nights, which actually suck because there is this crazy, high pitched alien-like crying between meals and 3) Terrible, which means god-awful-don't-wish-this-upon-your-worst-enemy crying. Insert your own ideas and re-read #6.

2. "Shhhh....don't wake Jackson. If Jackson wakes up I'm going to cry. Seriously, shut up. Stop. No...don't change the diaper in here. Where are the wipes? Give me the passey, quick. Did you burp him? Did you burp him?? Please tell me you didn't put him down before he burped?!? Where the eff is the swadle blanket. He spit up on it? He spit up on it? Tell me you didn't let him spit up on it."

1. Let us pray...

OK, so its really not that bad. We are very blessed and are just tired (physically, of each other in the middle of the night, and of hearing the alien-like crying from Mr. Grumpy, aka Isaiah Lee Stone). If you cannot laugh about it, then you cannot enjoy the good times.


Dustin said...

Great post! Thanks for a booster shot to my 5 year male birth control pill :)

JeriKay said...

Bless your hearts!!! You have got to be one of the funniest people EVER!!! I love reading your blog